Mama, in loving memory of you.

Looking back, I had written this post for my dear Mama last year for Mother’s Day. I love and I miss her so much, this time I have to face my greatest fear of losing her. Now that she’s peacefully with our Almighty Father,  I want to share this to remind myself, our family and all the people who loved her of the beautiful memories she left us.

Mama, this is in loving memory of you.

Proverbs31_28

It  is virtually impossible, describing a mother’s love.

It is a feeling that can only truly be understood by those that experience it.

I can’t imagine, Where would I be without Mama?

 I once have all these worries when I almost lost my Mom but with God’s never ending grace to us, to me He always saved my Mom. I thank GOD for everything, God knows that my Mom is one of my sources of strength, I already lost my father and I know I can’t afford to loose my Mom, I’ve been pleading to HIM not now, not yet, bless us with more days with her, happier days. I treasure my Mom so much because I’ve seen and experienced for quite a number of times how her life was put into a test, due to illness, she had heart attacked several times, she had stroke for almost ten times, the  amazing thing of all our good LORD always saved her, always lengthen her days, her life and I will be forever grateful for that.

Looking back, I am always reminded of the fighting spirit that she always showed to us. The smile, the tears, the laughter, the sadness that we shared together. Being the eldest in the family, I and my Mom often have our heart to heart talk about our lives, decisions to  be made, arguments,so many memories together, we are magkatuwang in almost everything. I’ve seen how much she had tried her very best to provide us a good life, her being the mother and the father in the family, it’s not easy. I remember all those nights that I would wait for her to come home sometimes late at night and I could see the tiredness in her eyes to earn a living for us, I silently uttered a prayer always for God to give her more strength and seeing this situation, it has continuously inspired me to do better in things that I do so that one day I can help her. I’ve told myself one day I could give her the best in life and I thank GOD for allowing me to do so.

 As I am writing this post I started to cry because once again I am being reminded how deeply blessed I am, we are for having Mama. And I would not want to miss this chance to once again let her know how much love I have for her. I had written several poems, stories about and because of her.

 I have so many memorable days with Mama and up to now we are counting and adding more memories, but there’s one of the many that’s so memorable to me it was a day before my birthday, a day before she had a major stroke and we have to rush her to the hospital. But not all people knew that night before, the last thing she even thought of was the preparation for my birthday. Mama knocked on my room and asked me ” What dishes will we have for your birthday, tomorrow? What preparations we have to make?”. We talked and then went back to our bedroom, calling it a  night. But then again a few minutes later, my sister was banging the door of my room,” “Ate, Mama’s having an attack” and so the story goes…On that day, my birthday we were at the hospital, at the Heart Center and I’m still in my pajamas but I don’t care anymore how I look as I am trying to hold back my tears, asking for strength, I just care for her nothing else. She’s in coma, I can’t bear seeing her in that condition, especially being the eldest I have to show courage but deep inside I am slowly tearing apart. I knew my Mom was also counting on me.

 When I saw her lying on bed, I just held her hands and prayed. My mother was barely able to let the words escape her lips. An ineffable fear and pain came over me. My mother and I both held each other and shed tears of pain and the unexpected. On that moment,  I saw strength in Mama, though she’s in a coma I know she could hear me,  my eyes filled with tears I whispered to her, ” we will get through this, just be strong, we got to be strong for each other, God is good everything will be fine with God’s help, don’t worry, you’ll be okay, don’t give up.”  I will never forget that moment. The main force that kept me with a positive attitude was the love, and support from family, friends and most of all my faith in GOD.

 Throughout the most trying time in her life, she remained solid as a rock. Thankfully, she is a “survivor” with God’s help.

 Through the years, the more I realized that she’s really a woman of true strength, her courage and determination has withstood the test of time and these things has a great influence on me on how I view life. Honestly, I have never seen anyone overcome a hurdle quite like these with such abundant grace from GOD considering how many times she’s been in and out of the hospital.

 The more I realized it’s really the wonderful works and  miracles of GOD. He’s in control of everything, our life, my Mama’s life. God has taken this astonishing victory in our lives, I know it’s all because of HIM.

 Our  hardships and experiences together  have given me strength, determination, and character. I now see the value of life and all that it has to offer. I awake every morning considering each day a blessing from above and a true gift, knowing Mama is with us, alive and well.

 The Almighty blesses us the greatest mom in the entire world for a number of reasons. It is simply not possible to express my love and admiration for Mama,  not only is she the most compassionate woman I know, but she is the strongest, most understanding mother and my best friend. She would do anything for anyone, never expecting a thing in return. She has a heart that one can only love, and a drive for life to inspire.

 Mama,  We love you so much…

I LOVE YOU, I’ve been deeply blessed because I have you. 

Thank you for everything.

 Quoting these words:

 “And more than anything, a Mother is God’s wonderful gift,  she is the one person in the whole, wide world you can always come back to. No matter what you’ve done. Because wherever she is – is home.

The purest and deepest love comes from a mother’s heart. The bond between mother an   child is stronger than anything on this earth. The seeds planted by a mother’s love, remain in her child’s heart for a lifetime.

 I pray the love of God will touch the lives of  all the mothers, everyday.

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