December -The Month of the Year- Reflections

God's word. Trust and Obey.
God’s word.
Trust and Obey.

December the month of the year…

Though the temperature has been dropping rapidly, the festive feeling keeps on soaring high.

2013 memories… lessons… reflections.

God's blessing- our Church wedding, two lives united in God's love :)
God’s blessing-
our Church wedding
two lives united in God’s love. 🙂
one happy couple pre-nuptial shots. loved this one :)
one happy couple
pre-nuptial shots
loved this one 🙂
God’s marvelous blessing
our new house
As for me and my house we will serve the Lord ! (Joshua 24:15)
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Winter 2013 with my student Joanne 🙂

Being full of holiday spirit, how I miss home and for this year an amazing blessing has been answered by our good Lord, I’ll be home for Christmas, yehey! .

I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it! ( hahaha!)

I haven`t been active here on my blog for a while, soaked into the hustle and bustle of life .

A lot of amazing things I wish I’ve posted all of it in details, I’ve been doing some journaling, like an epistle of my personal journey with God in this life.

So many changes, blessings, celebrations as in A LOT for the year 2013.

One of these days, I’ll post mine soon.

How about you? Take some dedicated time before the  New Year,  sit down and think about the past year. Reflect and  ponder where you are and where you’ve been. Share a few things you learned, embrace the gift of life, inspire others. Nothing will better inform and shape how you embrace your new year than a good, honest  reflection.

Reflect upon what God did on your life, how you felt, what you learned.

Let’s welcome 2014 with a grateful heart,

a heart full of happiness filled with God’s abundant love.

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Come With Me

“Once upon a memory
Someone wiped away a tear
Held me close and loved me
Thank You Mother Dear
Happy Birthday, we miss you so much… ”

The Lord saw you getting tired
And a cure that day was not to be,
So He put his arms aroud you
And whispered,
‘Come with me’
With tearful eyes we watched you
And saw you fade away.
Although we loved you dearly
We could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating
Your beautiful smile at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove
He always takes the best.
It’s lonesome here without you
We miss you so each day.
Our lives just aren’t the same
Ever since you went away.
When days are sad and lonely
And everything goes wrong
We hear you gently whisper,
‘Cheer up and carry on.’
Each time we see your picture,
You seem to smile and say,
‘Don’t cry, I’m in God’s keeping,
We’ll meet again someday.’

I know we’ll meet again… Someday…

33 Things about my Life on my 33rd Birthday.

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Today, I turn 33.

it's my birthday! cheers!

 

On a good note, I SO LOVE my early thirties.

I have been thinking a lot about what I have learned over the passed 32 years. How God blesses me each new day. 12,045 days of living on earth (whoa!) as I open my eyes welcoming my natal day, alive and well, I can say all my days are all new every morning. How great is God’s faithfulness.

Since I turn 33 today, I love to share 33 things about myself, my life in the world of blogging.

33 Things about my life on my 33rd.

1. I’m a Christian, a follower of our Lord Jesus Christ. I strive daily to keep my life centered on Him. I am in love with our Creator and cannot imagine myself doing anything without Him in my life. I’m able to write this post because of the skills He had given me. I am alive and have found the true meaning of life because of our Lord Jesus Christ. I thank Him not just for the blessings at the same time for all the challenges I faced, I’m facing and will face, for He’s continuously changing and shaping my life. He hones me to be a better testimony of His goodness and faithfulness although I don’t deserve it. The salvation that He has given me I know is the greatest gift I have ever received or will ever receive in my entire life. All the many wonderful people, things, moments, experience both ups & downs and countless blessings. I owe everything to Him and I pray that whatever this life brings me; He will find me faithful, strongly standing on my faith.

In my life, being a Christian is the main thing that best defines me.

 I really pray I can live and practice my faith for His greater glory.

I am nothing, without GOD.

Sharing this wonderful poem.

When I say I am A Christian...

2. I love my family so much they are my priceless treasures. 2012 is quite a challenging year for me. This year I become an orphan. 1989, my Papa, in his 40’s passed away and this year my Mama in her 60’s, they finally went back home to be with the LORD. I terribly miss the feeling of having both of my parents alive. The more I realized their value in my life and my responsibilities of being the Ate. I miss Mama’s preparation for my birthday and everything about her, I miss her terribly.

3. I’m the eldest child, I have 3 younger sisters. So in our family, it’s Girl Power! My childhood memories with my siblings and cousins – one of the sweetest.

4. I admire most two women in my life. My Mama and my Aunt Agnes, they are God’s wonderful blessings. I thank God for using them to hone me to be the kind of person that I am now. A big part of who I am, it’s because of them. I have my flaws and imperfections but these two are the most kind, humble, understanding and generous women I ever met. In all my ups and downs, struggles, dreams that I fulfilled, they incessantly help and support me all the way. I will be forever grateful and I know I can never out give what they shared to me and with tearful eyes I want to express how much I love both of you.

5. I love reading and writing so much. I really miss doing it frequently. Most especially keeping diaries started penning when I was 10. I still try to write some journals but usually only when I travel. My favorite books of course the best book ever written – the Holy Bible and Amazing Results of Positive Thinking by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale.

6. I really miss all my long distant friends and family members. They are the ones that I don’t talk to often enough, but when I do it feels like we spoke yesterday. I have only a few true friends in life so I embrace special friendships.

7. I love laughing. I thank God for blessing me a natural sense of humor, I’m not bragging that attitude but if you’re that close to me, you’ll see that I have my funny side. I blurt out jokes without any intentions of joking. I can laugh really loud. Humor-tried and tested, it’s truly an effective method to lighten up; I also use it when I’m teaching.

8. I badly want to be a better writer, it’s my frustration. If I have a chance to choose another profession, I’ll choose to be a writer/journalist or maybe a lawyer.

9. I realized that teaching is my passion. I never thought that this will be my bread and butter. I so loved it that when I teach most of my students and colleagues will tell me that I don’t need a microphone my voice is so loud that they can hear me from the other rooms, and when I explain things, it’s so vivid and full of spontaneity. They usually ask me what’s the secret for all the energy. No more, no less my Creator, never ending gratitude to my Creator for the gifts He graciously gives. I thank God for allowing me to discover and do the things that I love and working for one’s own passion is one of the most incredible opportunities one could ever had.

10. I wake up students who are sleeping in my class although it happens very seldom, if I caught one, I ask them to go back to their dormitory if they want to sleep, but of course there will be consequences if one tries to, anyway no one dares to do it or else…

11. I love traveling, who doesn’t? I’ve been to several countries, and it’s filled with unforgettable and fascinating experiences for me. I usually plan all my travel trips and I avoid going thru a traveling agency. I manage to try adventures by learning as much as I can about the place that I’m going before I get there so I can prepare myself. Thinking ahead is an essential key to navigating any country or any city without burning out. I love strolling when I travel. Until my feet get sore, I don’t give up. I realized traveling on my own is more exciting.Thank God for allowing me to roam  His wonderful creations.

12. I don’t like rushing. I walk using my baby steps; I take time to do things, slowly but surely. Through this, I try to enjoy and appreciate my surroundings.

13. I have learned how to budget my finances through the years of being God’s channel of blessing in my family; it’s a skill that needs a lot of practice and experience. Nowadays our present world is full of beautiful things to tempt and lure us to spend much and it will never run out for sure, so having financial freedom is so essential for me.

14. I don’t drink milk; I puke if I tasted it, sounds weird. For example, I don’t put milk on top of “halo-halo” but I do eat fruit-salads, ice-creams (except for vanilla flavor) and leche flan, some people find it strange.

15. I drink too much caffeine; admittedly I’m a coffee-addict. My fave- Frappucinno Java Chip with no cream and black coffee medium blend. Like what I mentioned I don’t like the milky taste so even creamer is a no-no for me.

16. I had 3 boyfriends in my entire life haha, now this is what you call a confession. No flirting, MU and whatsoever, my first one at the age of 15, (puppy love) I used to be one of those teenagers who belong to the hopeless romantic club, please don’t judge me, its part of teenage life. Most of the relationships lasted for years and then gone, remember if it’s meant to be it’s meant-to-be. Moving on with my life I’m happy and blessed the last one is now my better-half and we’re on our way, going to our 6th year.

17. My bed, hotel beds, on the floor, in the car, on the train, on the plane doesn’t matter where as soon as my head is rested I would knock out and fall straight asleep even ‘a brigade of guards could march but sometimes it would not wake me up’ (lol). I love lying on my cozy bed just sleeping and relaxing, feeling so mellow & comfortable it’s so nice to just stretch, feel the warmth of my bed just embracing the peace of mind sleep graciously gives. I can have 12 hours straight sleep when there are no morning classes or appointments and during weekends, for sure a lovely day awaits me!

18. I don’t like wearing sneakers or the so called rubber shoes I think it makes me look shorter.

19. My favorite color is sky-blue, powder blue and all shades of blue. So if you want to make me happy even a simple thing with shades of blue can put a smile on my face.

20. I really used to admire Winnie d’ Pooh because of its sweet, naive look considering it’s a bear, not sure though of its gender. I have a pink Winnie d’ Pooh designed casual dress that I’d loved to wear way back college days and almost 12 years had passed when I went back home to Pinas for vacation surprisingly, I saw one of my younger sisters still wearing it (good quality).

21. I really don’t like hand washing clothes and also washing dishes. I would rather clean the house for a day, involve my self in general cleaning projects at home but washing uhhmm, my grips are not too strong. When I was young my late Dad asked me to repeat the dishes that I already washed not just once but sometimes I have to repeat it thrice, I can almost see my own image on the plates (lol). He kept on reminding me that as a girl I should learn how to do household chores properly and washing dishes should be one of my trainings. So, I won’t miss this chance of extending my gratitude to the inventors of washing machines with automatic dryer and also dish-washing machines two thumbs up to both of you, inventors really make our life easier.

22. I used to join Math and Spelling quiz bees, declamation contest when I was young but when I reached college days I was so confused with all the long complicated symbols, numbers, combined with the letters of the alphabet and so on just like Differential Equations, my brain nerves bleed with all those mind-blowing never-ending mathematical equations which are common in engineering courses. Papa was my disciplinarian tutor in my studies most especially in Math, it’s his forte. When he passed away I realized the value of having someone to teach and guide me in my studies, ever since then I have to do most of the homework, projects, lessons on my own. People, cherish your parents remember they are also growing old (once a famous quote shared on Facebook).

23. I always carry my precious camera. I take it everywhere with me wherever I go and take pictures. Memories captured on it are priceless.

24. I’m an acrophobic, I’ve developed fear of heights like hiking on mountains, riding roller coasters, cable cars, and visiting highest skyscrapers but still I tried them, most of the time I agreed ‘cause of peer pressure haha. I thank God for sustaining me to overcome it.

25. Any kind of “ginataan” is my favorite food and also pasta dishes. I think I could eat it for lunch and dinner every day!

26. When a cuisine is so good, I keep on talking  how delicious it is for so many days, what a long hang-over, the people around me maybe will be annoyed haha, ’cause I’m so kulit, and pauli-ulit.

27. I always have 20/20 vision, though I’m such a book-worm and a computer addict. Since birth I have never tried wearing eye-glasses and also contact lens for the sole purpose of reading or seeing clearly, maybe in the future but hopefully not too soon.

28. I’ve been a procrastinator in some areas of my life, I want some changes, but I just keep putting it off. I’m not proud of it and sincerely I hope to overcome it.

29. My favorite alone time is spent at a store; it could be in supermarkets, malls, bookstore sometimes even a convenience store. I’m just like a hunter, meticulously hunting for treasures.

30. I’ll splurge on bags, shoes and techie gadgets – they are my weaknesses, sometimes feeling guilty on buying them until a few years later when I know I’ve gotten my money’s worth. One more thing I avoid wearing painful shoes. They’re just not worth it. I now prefer flat ones and kitten heels, 2 inches high won’t hurt.

31. I’m quite moody; sometimes I just don’t feel like talking. I believe we have our mood swings. If I suddenly change the tone of my voice in a lower tone it means I’m not in the mood, the worst if ever I’m silent it means I’m pissed off about something.

32. I’d been bankrupt. I experienced how to own and ran a business a few years ago together with my two good friends; an outsourcing company, we tried so hard to establish it and it’s never easy. I was a novice then, should I say the three of us. After a few years things didn’t turn up well; we have to shut it down. I realized and learned a lot from that humbling experience and I can say looking back that’s one of the lowest points of my life. That part of my life, had taught me so many lessons. It’s been years  by God’ graciousness in my life He helps me all the way to recover just like in Job’s story in the Holy Bible, He blesses me in so many uncountable ways that’s incredibly far more than I imagine it to be. I’m able to be victorious in all those trials because I have a Victorious God who stand by me. Though there times I’m haunted by my greatest regret – it’s not about the lost investments, it’s the reality that I lost friends, friendships I once treasured most.  and though I haven’t seen them and I still wonder where they are now. With all sincerity I do wish and pray that wherever they are their lives are better, peaceful and happy.

33. I don’t fear death.  An added year on my age is a celebration it means I’m getting closer to the dawn of life. I’m looking forward to going home to my Creator. Nothing compares spending eternity with Jesus. No one knows but no matter how painful it is I believe there’s beauty in death, we will all pass away. I’m being reminded of recent memories when Mama’s physical body was being buried deeply underground, I told myself we will all pass away, that it is just the physical body. I know our final destination is not of this world, I thank the Lord for giving me an eternal life because this world is just temporary it will not lasts. Having just one life isn’t so bad if you live it to its fullest, fulfilling the purpose of God in one’s life. We’re blessed enough to be born on this planet, at this point of time. I enjoy it while I can. So while I’m still alive, I learn how to celebrate life. Getting older is something to celebrate.

 So on my natal day, on being 33,

I’m happily embracing my age.

Life is a gift, a gift from the Almighty Powerful God.

To all my friends and loved ones thanks for being a part of my life, for celebrating with me,  each one of you is God’s precious gift in my life.

Let’s celebrate life, Cheers!

You have not walked in my shoes, who are you to judge me wrongly?

Writing has always been and will always be a good therapy for me.

For this time I choose to vent my feelings rather than staying in silence.

Expressing my thoughts on things that are getting out of control need to find their way out of my mind.

I’m telling you right straight to your face, YOU DON’T KNOW ME!

I’ve only met you once and that doesn’t give you any right to judge me and say awful things about me. Don’t put the blame on me; don’t drop my name most especially in a public profile where the rest of the world can see it. And as of the moment I’m really, really pissed off because of what you did.

Who are you to judge me wrongly? Do you know my life? Do you know what I’ve been thru?

Are we even close enough for you to drag my name in a pit where you are in?

You don’t know what I’ve felt or what I feel right now. So, find something better to do with your time than making your wrong judgments. You know nothing about me. You have not been down my road.
Remember you have not cried my tears; you have not carried my cross.
Do you think you know my story?
Do you think you know me? You don’t even know me.
I will not step down to your level; I’m not that kind of person. Yes, I’m venting out my thoughts now, but I chose not to drag your name in public because I still have decency, I can do that if I want to but I prefer not to.

I don’t know if that word is even in your vocabulary, decency doesn’t reflect in your attitude. Putting my name on the spotlight filled with your wrong judgments defies your purpose of putting my life into shame. The embarrassment falls back on you, just like a boomerang.

I seldom get angry, unless you’ve really stretched my patience to its limit. I tried to be fair and understand the situation the best that I can – but you have stretched my limits. You have step into the barrier where your words are too degrading, damaging to my reputation. Don’t pass the blame on people even to me for what’s happening in your life, the consequences of your choices you must take the responsibility. I can look straight to your eyes without any guilty feelings. I’m not a hypocrite just like what you’re trying to tell and broadcast to everyone, if ever I help people I’m not expecting anything in return, I don’t ask them to be in debt of me because I myself had been in challenging situations wherein generous hands helped me in different trials I had been through. So why should I act as one that’s too proud because I was able to lend a hand to some? Each time I have chances to help someone I take it as a blessing because the Almighty chooses me to be a channel of blessing for them. It’s not because of my own goodness but because of God’s goodness in my life.

So, DON’T rush to your wrong judgments on an issue when YOU DON”T KNOW ME AT ALL.

Think a thousand times before you speak, sometimes saying things without thinking very often a thoughtless remark may hurt others’ feelings or cause a misunderstanding or an embarrassment. We must, therefore, always think before we speak.

If there’s one thing I always avoid myself to get into that is to get MAD. Well, to be honest I believe I reached my boiling point, it has reached to a certain extent wherein it’s about to explode, and I want it to explode straight to your face.

Most of the time I’ve tried to take control of my feelings, most especially anger because when I’m mad, there are times I feel I have absolutely no control over a situation, feelings of powerlessness. If I try to express what’s in me and you never even bothered to listen, I would just keep silent and I might never try to open up again. Silence will engulf the totality of me. But this time it’s different. This situation is a test for me. I still feel the anger because of what you did, though I know I should always have an open, humble and forgiving heart but sometimes it’s really difficult especially if that “trying to be fair attitude” will just be hypocrisy.

It reminds me of the old French saying “tout comprendre est tout pardonner” –
to understand everything is to forgive everything.” It is so easy to make wrong judgments about a person on a superficial level without understanding what is behind a person acting as she does. Sometimes what you don’t know about a person is more significant than what you do, on a slight acquaintance.

I’ve been ridiculed…
I’ve been persecuted…
I’ve been abused…
I’ve been lost…
I’ve been vulnerable…
And I’ve been at my worst.

Through all my pains…
Through all my nightmares…
Through all my failures…
Through all my anxieties…
Through all my loneliness…
Through all my weaknesses…

His Word comforted me.

It has been a steep, rocky road and I’ve been wounded along the way. But I’m telling you my heart just won’t give up! I had chosen this road, because God has chosen me first.

I have to finish the fight. I won’t give up. People like you can’t put me down.

God knows the truth. I gain my strength from Him.

Remember, you have not walked in my shoes, you were not there at all. Take time to judge yourself before judging anyone else.

In Matthew 7:4-5, Jesus says, ” Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”

A good judge will not fail to judge himself. DON’T rush into your wrong judgments, for judgments should be rendered compassionately and in conformity with the facts.

You have not walked in my shoes, you were not there at all.

Seeing the Good in the World

I firmly believe that even in the gloomiest places, there is beauty and goodness. You just have to open your eyes and find it.

The world would be a better place if everyone would stop seeing the bad and find the good. There would be less hate, sadness, and misery. More peace and harmony.

Great adventures and great changes require, at some deep level, a leap of faith in the fundamental goodness of the world. That in no way is meant to cloud perception of the cruelty, fear and injustice that so often mark the turns of history or the passage of daily life. Rather, it is in the face of that, to continue believing that kindness and abundance is all around us, because without that belief it will be all that much harder to see. And of course, nearly impossible to inspire.

Blank Wall

Staring at a Blank Wall.

It is true that we have become calloused of the the things in life we have become accustomed to. A difficult premise without feeling guilty, taking things around us for granted.

Just this late afternoon, I found myself staring at a blank white painted wall which I took for granted for quite sometime. I’d passed this wall almost everyday of my life but for now I looked at it in a different way.It’s just like my eyes were deeply attracted to its simplicity and individuality.

Blank Wall
Blank Wall

Clock ticks, still I keep myself staring at a blank white wall.

Yes, I just did it over and over again. Allowing time to passed, staring at the wall in front of me. Letting my thoughts to viciously escape from my being.

Sometimes, though, there’s just the blank wall to stare, though there are no patterns to see though it all just looks blank…

I found beauty in it’s nothingness.

Plain, simple, pure.

Unclogging one’s mind. Freeing oneself.

Going back to basics, going back to simplicity.

The wall is just blank, where answers are nowhere to be found, nor even questions.

Just like in life we don’t always have the answers, or even where to look for it.And as we look all the harder, the more we can’t find what we’re seeking.

Because we’re looking at pointless directions, leading into a wrong journey. We can’t find it because we’re not seeking for the right way.

Aren’t you tired of seeking self-glory?

Aren’t you tired of living life just for yourself?

Aren’t you tired of loving yourself too much?

Aren’t you tired filling your walls with so many vain things, complicated patterns, running through and through?

Wherein everything just leads to selfishness filled with patterns of I, myself and me.

Look around, stare at your walls, what do you see?

I hope you recognize, you’re not alone, that this life is not all about you.

Sometimes we just have to admit the wall is blank.

Sometimes now is the best time to amend changes for new beginnings.

So if once again we stare at a blank wall, I hope now we’ll see the happiness of life through it’s simplicity and purity.

Blessed by our Brokenness.

Vance Havner says:

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength.

It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume…

God uses mightily those who have been hurt deeply and in this aspect, brokenness is a great blessing.”

Blessed by our Brokenness

Hearts got broken when our loving Mom passed away.

I know that with God’s help we can make it through.

It’s true that no matter how you prepare yourself, no matter how old our parents are, no matter how many times you tell yourself  ” Everything will be okay, it’s their time.” .

Once they passed away, one can never  really let go, we will always and still hold on to the memories and feel the need of their presence in our lives.

Children like us who are now already grown-ups will always hold on to the hope that our parents will stay with us for the rest of our lives.

The truth is no one, no human being is immortal.

We all have to face this phase, chapter sooner or later only God knows.

I will never let go because Mama will always be a huge part of who I am.

It is God, our loving Father who will restore everything, healing will take its place, that even I feel pain every time I long for her,  I and my loved ones can see how these down moments in our lives can bring glory to our Almighty God.

I know I’m broken…

but one day God will use this brokenness into a blessing.

THE CARROT, EGG AND THE COFFEE

 

A friend forwarded me an article that is so interesting I want to share it with you.

 

The title of the article is this.

Are you a carrot, an egg or coffee?

A daughter complained to her father about her life and how things were so hard for her. She said, “Father, I do not know how I am going to make it. I just feel like giving up. I’m tired of fighting and struggling.

It seems as though every time one of my problems is solved, a new one comes along. I just can’t take it anymore.”

Her father took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed them each on high heat. Soon the pots came to a boil. In one pot of boiling water, he placed carrots. In the second, he placed eggs, and in the last pot, he placed coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

The daughter impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing.

Twenty minutes later, he turned off the burners. He strained the water from the carrots and placed them in a bowl. He lifted the eggs out and placed them in another bowl. Then he ladled the steaming coffee into a bowl.

Turning to her he asked, “What do you see?” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied. He brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft and mushy. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled as she tasted its flavor and smelled the rich aroma.

She humbly asked, “But what does it mean, Father?” He explained that each of them had been plunged into boiling water, but each had reacted differently. The carrot went into the water strong and hard but after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its soft, liquid interior. But after sitting in the boiling water, it became hard on the inside.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, the water did not really change them. They changed the water!

“Which are you?” the father gently asked his daughter.

“When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you more like a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

How about you? Are you the carrot that started out strong and hard long ago, but with the pain and adversity of your life struggles, did you become soft and lose your strength? Are you the egg that started out soft inside? Were you a fluid spirit, but after the pain of death, abuse, rejection, poor health, divorce, or a layoff, have you become hardened? Your outer shell might look the same, but have you become hard-boiled and toughened in your spirit and your heart?

Or are you like the coffee bean? The bean that was plunged into the rapidly boiling water actually changed the hot water and gave it flavor and aroma, reaching its peak flavor at 212 degrees Fahrenheit! THAT IS HOT WATER!

When people say bad things about you, do your praises to the Lord continue or do you blame Him? When the hour is the darkest and your trials are their greatest, does your worship elevate to a higher level or do you desert Him?

When you feel burdened by your own troubles, do you still reach out and help others? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean? When you get plunged into hot water, anything that is bringing you pain, like being plunged into the adversities of life, be like the coffee bean. When things are at their worst, you will get stronger and make things better around you, and … you will always leave a fragrance.

You know what?

The article is so nice I don’t want to add anything to it anymore.

So, which are you…a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

Mama, in loving memory of you.

Looking back, I had written this post for my dear Mama last year for Mother’s Day. I love and I miss her so much, this time I have to face my greatest fear of losing her. Now that she’s peacefully with our Almighty Father,  I want to share this to remind myself, our family and all the people who loved her of the beautiful memories she left us.

Mama, this is in loving memory of you.

Proverbs31_28

It  is virtually impossible, describing a mother’s love.

It is a feeling that can only truly be understood by those that experience it.

I can’t imagine, Where would I be without Mama?

 I once have all these worries when I almost lost my Mom but with God’s never ending grace to us, to me He always saved my Mom. I thank GOD for everything, God knows that my Mom is one of my sources of strength, I already lost my father and I know I can’t afford to loose my Mom, I’ve been pleading to HIM not now, not yet, bless us with more days with her, happier days. I treasure my Mom so much because I’ve seen and experienced for quite a number of times how her life was put into a test, due to illness, she had heart attacked several times, she had stroke for almost ten times, the  amazing thing of all our good LORD always saved her, always lengthen her days, her life and I will be forever grateful for that.

Looking back, I am always reminded of the fighting spirit that she always showed to us. The smile, the tears, the laughter, the sadness that we shared together. Being the eldest in the family, I and my Mom often have our heart to heart talk about our lives, decisions to  be made, arguments,so many memories together, we are magkatuwang in almost everything. I’ve seen how much she had tried her very best to provide us a good life, her being the mother and the father in the family, it’s not easy. I remember all those nights that I would wait for her to come home sometimes late at night and I could see the tiredness in her eyes to earn a living for us, I silently uttered a prayer always for God to give her more strength and seeing this situation, it has continuously inspired me to do better in things that I do so that one day I can help her. I’ve told myself one day I could give her the best in life and I thank GOD for allowing me to do so.

 As I am writing this post I started to cry because once again I am being reminded how deeply blessed I am, we are for having Mama. And I would not want to miss this chance to once again let her know how much love I have for her. I had written several poems, stories about and because of her.

 I have so many memorable days with Mama and up to now we are counting and adding more memories, but there’s one of the many that’s so memorable to me it was a day before my birthday, a day before she had a major stroke and we have to rush her to the hospital. But not all people knew that night before, the last thing she even thought of was the preparation for my birthday. Mama knocked on my room and asked me ” What dishes will we have for your birthday, tomorrow? What preparations we have to make?”. We talked and then went back to our bedroom, calling it a  night. But then again a few minutes later, my sister was banging the door of my room,” “Ate, Mama’s having an attack” and so the story goes…On that day, my birthday we were at the hospital, at the Heart Center and I’m still in my pajamas but I don’t care anymore how I look as I am trying to hold back my tears, asking for strength, I just care for her nothing else. She’s in coma, I can’t bear seeing her in that condition, especially being the eldest I have to show courage but deep inside I am slowly tearing apart. I knew my Mom was also counting on me.

 When I saw her lying on bed, I just held her hands and prayed. My mother was barely able to let the words escape her lips. An ineffable fear and pain came over me. My mother and I both held each other and shed tears of pain and the unexpected. On that moment,  I saw strength in Mama, though she’s in a coma I know she could hear me,  my eyes filled with tears I whispered to her, ” we will get through this, just be strong, we got to be strong for each other, God is good everything will be fine with God’s help, don’t worry, you’ll be okay, don’t give up.”  I will never forget that moment. The main force that kept me with a positive attitude was the love, and support from family, friends and most of all my faith in GOD.

 Throughout the most trying time in her life, she remained solid as a rock. Thankfully, she is a “survivor” with God’s help.

 Through the years, the more I realized that she’s really a woman of true strength, her courage and determination has withstood the test of time and these things has a great influence on me on how I view life. Honestly, I have never seen anyone overcome a hurdle quite like these with such abundant grace from GOD considering how many times she’s been in and out of the hospital.

 The more I realized it’s really the wonderful works and  miracles of GOD. He’s in control of everything, our life, my Mama’s life. God has taken this astonishing victory in our lives, I know it’s all because of HIM.

 Our  hardships and experiences together  have given me strength, determination, and character. I now see the value of life and all that it has to offer. I awake every morning considering each day a blessing from above and a true gift, knowing Mama is with us, alive and well.

 The Almighty blesses us the greatest mom in the entire world for a number of reasons. It is simply not possible to express my love and admiration for Mama,  not only is she the most compassionate woman I know, but she is the strongest, most understanding mother and my best friend. She would do anything for anyone, never expecting a thing in return. She has a heart that one can only love, and a drive for life to inspire.

 Mama,  We love you so much…

I LOVE YOU, I’ve been deeply blessed because I have you. 

Thank you for everything.

 Quoting these words:

 “And more than anything, a Mother is God’s wonderful gift,  she is the one person in the whole, wide world you can always come back to. No matter what you’ve done. Because wherever she is – is home.

The purest and deepest love comes from a mother’s heart. The bond between mother an   child is stronger than anything on this earth. The seeds planted by a mother’s love, remain in her child’s heart for a lifetime.

 I pray the love of God will touch the lives of  all the mothers, everyday.